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I am resident in a world that refuses to take any responsibility. “The devil made me do it. My spouse made me do it. It’s my boss’s fault.” On and on it goes.

Do you want to know one of the hardest three-word statements to make? “I am wrong.”

It’s so easy to point out the wrong in others. It’s so easy to want it to be someone else’s fault. It’s so easy to get critical and cynical and caught up in our limited perspectives. But boy is it hard to see our own flaws. Where we went wrong. What we need to own.

I continually watch myself on this – not blaming others and taking responsibility.

People who don’t want to take responsibility for themselves blame other people for their feelings, thoughts, choices, actions, and inactions. The truth is if you’re stuck in a mindset of “It’s so unfair and they owe me” or “I’m this way because of what they did to me,” then you’re actually part of the problem.

Let me share a short story with you:

I remember a time many years ago when I thought all of my problems were caused by other people or circumstances I couldn’t control. One day I was praying aggressively for God to change my husband. I was giving it everything I had, crying out for God to ‘fix’ him! In my heart, I heard God say, ‘Excuse Me, Njeri, but Freddie is not the problem.” My next thought was, well, then who is? It’s just me and him in this relationship? For the next few days, God showed me what it was like to live with ME…and I cried for two days. It was so hard! I had a long way to go to be free of the hurt in my heart and the wrong behavior I had lived with for so long. But it was the beginning of my journey to experiencing the freedom I enjoy today.

One of the first things I had to understand was that I had to stop blaming everybody else, stop looking at what was wrong with other people and start taking responsibility for my attitudes and behaviors. It is amazing how easy it is for us to point out what’s wrong with others while we totally ignore the issue in our own lives. The truth is, it does not matter what is wrong with everybody else. After all, you can’t change them. Only God can do that. However, you can choose to cooperate with the Holy Spirit and let Him change the things in your heart that need to be changed. For this to happen, you have to be willing to face the truth about yourself and deal with the issues He reveals that are causing your problems.

Many of you reading this do not like examining yourselves because you do not like what you find out about and within yourself when you begin to soul search. For others, it is easier to shift blame because you really do not want to change your way of life and have convinced yourself that there is nothing wrong with scheming a little here and a little there.

Additionally, for some reason, God’s people think that when they stand before the judgment seat of Christ, they are going to be able to blame their parents, the church, their pastor, or their circumstances for their lack of maturity. By the lifestyle choices and actions of most believers, I am convinced that people think they will be able to pass the buck when it comes to personal responsibility.

‘The woman said, “The serpent deceived me.”’

Adam told God, ‘Eve made me do it.’ And Eve told God, ‘The devil made me do it.’ Excuse-making and blame-placing are built into our DNA, and until you get beyond them, you’ll never make progress or find real freedom. If you’re willing to accept responsibility for your life, you’ll discover that no matter what other people do or don’t do, to or for you, you’re accountable to yourself. You decide how to respond. You decide to continue to move towards your dreams—or not.

When you’ve been hurt by someone else’s actions, you can do one of two things:


1.Sit like a leper, and die at the gate of blame and complaint; or
2.Emerge with a strategy that enables you to say, ‘I’m too valuable to die, too tenacious to wait on anyone’s mercy, and too creative to accept your neglect as my destiny.’ Only when you’re willing to stop blaming others and take responsibility for your life and your situation, will God empower you to change things.


You do not need to be afraid of doing the right thing. When you get yourself into a mess you must not dig yourself deeper to avoid the consequences. If you accept the blame for problems that are your responsibility, you gain the strength of character and you cleanse out the root of rebellion that is still in you. God can’t use anyone who hides from the truth about themselves. Transformation cannot begin until you are mature enough to look deep within yourself and take responsibility for everything that happens in your life.

My friends, the truth sets you free to progress on your way to full and total transformation.

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Till next time, take care, be safe and God strengthen you.