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Where are we headed as a society; as a people? I saw a number of articles on the mainstream media this weekend, all speaking to sexual freedom and how Christians are stifling people’s freedom of expression based on their high moral ground of sexual purity. To a certain extent, I don’t blame them because many Christians are preaching water and drinking wine. I digress! I mean, there is nothing else that seems to be spoken about more these days except who is sleeping with who (fornication), whose husband is sleeping with whose wife (adultery), which two men and in a relationship (homosexuality), and so on and so forth. That society and people should be allowed to express themselves as they wish to in these times that we are living in. However, it is not acceptable for me to speak boldly about my convictions as a woman of God because I make people feel uncomfortable. What about what makes me uncomfortable? What about my rights?

It is also rather surprising to note how fornication has been normalized as though nothing is wrong with it. That it is acceptable for a couple to have sex, live together, and not be married, as long as they both agree and are consenting adults. It is even worse that married men and married women are sleeping with other married men and women and for some reason, it seems to be acceptable. It is a known secret…..ssshhhh. It is no longer frowned upon. In fact, I am sure as I write this, many people are wondering why I would write about this issue. What pray-tell does it have to do with leadership?

Everything. Because my friend, everything rises and falls on leadership!

Leadership begins with self. It begins with me leading myself first. This speaks to character and morality is key to character. Rather than asking, “What is right?” or “What will produce the best results?”, I usually ask myself “What type of person should I become?” I believe strongly that if I mold my character more and more on God’s character, this will increasingly lead to me doing the right thing. Therefore, my friends, to be a leader worth my salt, I must be a person of character thereby observing some moral codes of engagement. Black is black and white is white. There is no grey area. We are living in times when our so-called leaders don’t stand for anything and are allowing everything to pass in the name of being liked and accepted. As a leader, why would you want to be accepted? Your role is not to be accepted but rather to speak Truth, in love, for the sake of the people you influence and society at large.

So, what am I saying? I am saying that fornication is wrong in whatever form we have chosen to call it. We sanitize it by calling it pre-marital sex, we are partners, we are two consenting adults, and so on a so forth. I am here to state categorically that as a leader, I will never tell anyone to engage in any form of sexual interaction before marriage. I know this may make me unpopular, but that’s something I am willing to live with. Why you may ask? ‘Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will be become one flesh.”’ When it talks about becoming ‘one in body’ or ‘one flesh’ it doesn’t mean our flesh is fused. It means your whole self is involved. Your whole self is given away. Your whole self, your personality, your identity is bonded to another person. Sex is not just a physical act that leaves the ‘real you’ unaffected. It profoundly changes you. The pain caused when sexual purity is lost or when one person cheats on another is profound. I do not believe that this pain is experienced only by Christians. I believe this pain is experienced by all…..look at Hollywood if you need an example. This means that this is principle applies all around. If it only affected Christians, then only Christians would feel its devastating effects. However, everyone in the world who plays around with it is deeply wounded.

Too many of our foolish intellectual leaders are attempting to salvage their so-called “sexual revolution” by encouraging “safe sex,” i.e. sex with a protective condom. In reality, the only “safe sex” is that between two persons who are married and faithful to one another. We who believe Scripture must not hesitate to remind ourselves and others that the curse of God is upon those who commit sexual sin. Remember my friends, that the wages of sin is ultimately death. It spells spiritual death now, and eternal separation from God in the world to come, regardless of the present physical repercussions or lack of them.

I spoke about the media above. The very irresponsible mass media, in particular television and modern popular music, treats the dangers of sexual impurity and immorality mostly as if they did not exist. Dramatic presentations have movie heroes like James Bond hopping from bed to bed with one beautiful woman after another, seemingly without consequences. Many young people have already discovered, to their frightened dismay, that this is how babies are conceived (though it is seldom so in the movies). Song lyrics make unlawful sexual encounters sound wistfully romantic. However, they totally ignore the real-life implications of such actions. America’s spiraling illegitimacy rate attests to the fact that conception and birth are still the very natural result of heterosexual intimacy. Abortion, with its mental and physical scarring, is the stop-gap measure invented to rid our lives of these children conceived in “one night stand, non-committal relationships“.

And then there are the diseases! We must not forget those diseases! Dear friend, the only way we are going to put a halt to this AIDS epidemic and all related sexually transmitted diseases is if we respect the law of the Lord and limit sexual activity to the normal, male-female, marriage relationship. We must know, even today, that “he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body” (1 Cor. 6:18). If we are guilty of this sin, we are not only transgressing an ordinance of Heaven, but we are hurting ourselves, potentially destroying our own bodies!

I think it is time we called things out for what they are. Why are we, as leaders remaining silent as our children get lost and caught up in a society that does not protect them? Why, as parents, are we silent as though we are afraid of telling our children what is right and what is wrong? What is up with this new thing I hear modern-day parents keep saying – as long as they are happy! What does that even mean? Then, when your child is caught up in some sexual scandal with some old man or old woman, you are all up in arms crucifying these people. I thought that what mattered is that your child is happy! But are they happy, really and truly? Did you take the time to speak to your child when you had authority over them about who they are, first in Christ and second, in society.? Had you spoken to them about the dangers of promiscuity? Did you, yourself, set an example for them to follow?

My dear friend, we cannot stay silent as we watch our society fall on its knees for lack of morals. We can no longer stay silent as mass media steals away the innocent minds of our children in the name is of being liberal! Like I always say, responsibility comes at a price. Are you willing to pay the price for the sake of this generation?

Reach out to us here and we would be more than happy to walk this journey of leadership with you.